Braving The Waters

Today began like any other day.  My alarm clock sounded and I hit snooze, twice.  Out of bed, dog out, breakfast made, coffee perking. In the back of my mind I know today is different than I thought it would be 9 months ago.  Today I should be boarding an airplane bound for Atlanta. I am not boarding an air plane, I am not headed to Atlanta.  Today I should be officially beginning my in person classes for Spiritual Direction Certification.  I am not meeting in person rather I am obsessively checking the zoom time so I don't miss it because of the time difference.  Today began like any other day, but today is different.  In one way or another we have all gone through significant changes since 2020 began. In one way or another our lives are different now than we thought they would be 9 months ago. It's perfectly acceptable to lament if things that were supposed to happen didn't, or didn't happen how you imagined. It's perfectly acceptable to rejoice if g...

I am an internal processor. I am a contemplative person who needs time to think before I speak. Unless we’ve been friends for more than a year, you probably think I don’t talk very much. My silence often gets me in trouble because my silence is often interpreted that I don’t care. One group has decided that I don’t care and therefore stand, complicit, with the oppressive force. Others think my silence means I am complacent and don’t care enough to even make a comment. The problem however is that I do care, it just takes me too long to get my thoughts together and by the time I have them ready, it’s too late. But it’s not too late. It is never too late to stand up against something that is wrong. It is never to late to stand up for something you believe in. Over the past week I have done a lot of reading, a lot of observing, a lot of praying, and a lot of weeping. Reading, observing, praying, weeping… Communities of color don’t need my tears, They don’t need me to stand to the side and ...

The weekly devotion I have been using this Advent seasons ends with this blessing each week: May God bless us with mornings when we find (hope, peace, joy) in aligning our ideas with God's ideas. May God bless us with noon times when we find (hope, peace, joy) in aligning our work with God's work. May God bless us with evenings when we find (hope, peace, joy) in reflecting and giving thanks to God. You can find more information about this devotion here (thanks for this great resource!)   As I reread this week’s meditation again this morning I can't help but find tears in my eyes.  The scripture for this week’s meditation time came from Isaiah 35:1-10 . “The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad…”  As I read this same scripture again this morning my heart is aching for those who are in a dry land with no hope. War torn countries, broken families with no chance of reconciliation, nations devastated by famine and illness at epidemic levels, just to na...

I wrote this for the local paper...it isn't much and it is very "politically and religiously safe" because I don't think my little spot in the paper should be used for tearing the community a part. We all struggle in our own way with the state of the world. These are just a few of my thought on how we can maybe struggle together...without beating each other up about it. Pasrson to Person  “There is No Easy Answer or Solution?” Rev. Andrea Brownlee First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) The work of ministry is nothing short of finding the balance between absolutely crazy and astonishingly beautiful.   In the course of a week it is not unlikely for me to sit at someone’s beside in the hospital, spend time with children and youth discovering what it means to be a follower of Christ, visit with a couple preparing to start their life together, help someone figure out how to pay an overdue bill or find food to feed their family until next month’s check arrives....

The first week back was not a quiet week by all means but not the “all hell breaking loose” kind of week I had anticipated. It was as typical as any week can be in congregational ministry with the added bonus of a 300+ email inbox! I joked with several people on Sunday that I am going to go away more often because I was feeling all the love before, during, and after worship. It is truly wonderful to be back among the beautiful people of God I serve here in Oskaloosa.  Sunday I reached my hug quota times 1,000 I am sure. Monday and Tuesday launched me into deep “pastor mode” with hospital visits, staff meeting, and evening prayers with a few people. Wednesday I was quickly reminded of the amazing work our church does for and with children and youth (I also reached my hug quota without doubt) and was warmly welcomed back into the choir fold! Thursday brought meetings and sermon prep (Job 23, if you’re interested). Friday and Saturday brought both time for being with friends, fin...

The weeks are running together because of the timing of when retreats start and end. I began my “3 weeks” on a Tuesday but my 6 day retreat began on a Thursday…When I posted last Saturday I was almost 2 days into my retreat. Now, as I sit here typing this reflection, I am 2 days out of my retreat back into to volunteering (believe or not I am washing dishes and cleaning bathrooms again). The 6 day retreat was a wonderful experience. It was time spent deepening my understanding and belief that all things are part of God’s creation.   We were silent, except for the hour we met in the morning after breakfast, during signing in morning mas, and the hour we met in the evening. You think being quiet and being silent are the same thing until you experience it for yourself. There were a great number of extremely loud silent people on retreat with me. While they weren’t talking, they were stomping through the hallways, shutting doors loudly…I am sure to other I was a very loud quiet ...

Thursday ended my first 10 days of volunteering at St. Mary. After a short trip to town to walk around the mall, a quick load of laundry and a new set of sheets I was ready for the evening supper bell to ring and for my retreat to begin. I posted on Facebook that I would be reflecting on my week of volunteering a friend and colleague wondered how theologically deep one could reflect on cleaning bathrooms and washing dishes…well Jim here we go! Just for clarity, dish washing has never been an enjoyable house hold chore for me.  Another point of clarity, I do my own dishes but I have one of those “fancy automatic washers”, as my grandma would have said so it isn't that terrible. I don't know if it is because I never worked in food service as a teenager, maybe it is some underlying desire to work in food services, I don’t know, it could possibly be a slight undiagnosed case of OCD. Whatever it is, industrial dishwashers have recently started to intrigue me. Their sheer si...

Today began my 2 month sabbatical. A time of reflection, relaxation, study, discernment, rest, renewal...I will explain more as the weeks pass by. It is a time to disconnect from "my world" and reconnect to God and my calling as a minister within the Body of Christ. However, it is unrealistic for me to totally stay away from social media and technology because well…if you’ve met me you know the answer to that. However I will be significantly limiting my use of all things electronic over the next 2 months. I will not be responding to emails, I will not(unless you have been otherwise notified) be answering phone calls or text messages, and I will not be spending much time on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram except to post the occasional picture, blog post, or significant update. I hope that limiting my time with these avenues of communication will allow me to truly be in the moment!  I have many hopes for this sabbatical and I want to share them with you as I go along...

8 years ago(yesterday) I was Ordained into the Order of Christian Ministry in the West Virginia Region of Christian Church(Disciples of Christ). It was a day filled with bagpipes and preaching, singing and laughing, praying and crying, hugging and even some dancing! It was a blessed day in my opinion and one I will forever remember in my heart, mostly because there are very few pictures. I don’t need pictures to remember the words spoken out of love for me and for the Church. 11 years ago, in August/September, I began serving in congregational ministry while in seminary, in Lexington, Kentucky. Those were 3 of the greatest years of my life. I learned so much not only in the classroom but from the congregation and friends out at the pub(LTS had Pub Theology…before Pub Theology was a recognized thing). 17(or so) years ago I stepped forward during closing vespers at CYF Conference at Bethany College, in Bethany WV to affirm and confirm God's call in my life to serve the church ...

As some of you might already know I am gearing up for a 2 month sabbatical. I will be working on a writing project as part of this sabbatical. I have created two surveys to help me with this project. I would invite you, if you are reading this blog, to click on the links below and fill them out! Your help is much appreciated. If you are a member of my congregation and you read this blog, if I try to give you a paper copy of these same surveys and you HONESTLY have already filled them out online, just tell me and I won't "make" you fill them out again! Either way,  I ask that you fill out the surveys with an open mind and an open heart, allowing yourself to reflect on your current worship practices.  It is my hope, from these surveys, to create a worship resource for individuals and families to grow in their spiritual life. This resource will have common and perhaps uncommon spiritual practices that will encourage you to grow in your prayer and worship life. I hope this r...

This picture is from the Maundy Thursday service last night but, I think it is fitting for today as well. Good Friday, a day of reflection, a day of sorrow, a day like no other. What does this day mean to you?

The turning point I often catch myself think “what if” when I reflect on major turning points in my life. What if I had chosen Hiram over Mount Union when I was deciding what college to go to? What if I had stayed home the summer of 2003 instead of working at Camp Cedar ?  What if I had gone to United Seminary instead of Lexington ? What if…what if… What if the disciples had gotten it the first time Jesus tried to tell them what was going to happen to him? What if God had decided there was another way when Jesus prayed in the garden? Perhaps you, like I, spend a good bit of time on the “what ifs” when we really don't need to. When we find ourselves at a turning point and we have weighed all the what if’s and might be’s and make the decision to go left, right, forward, backward, or stand still…that then becomes the known, not the what if. The turning point has past and we are now headed in a new and different direction than before. For me, Wednesday of Holy Week...

A prayer for the Tuesday of Holy Week Giving God as we get closer to the day Christ shared a last meal with his friends; remind us to be thankful for those we gather around the table with this week. Show us opportunities to invite new people to join us at the table Jesus prepared for all. Merciful God, as each step of this day takes us closer to Friday remind us of the steps Christ took with a heavy cross on his back. Give a chance to carry the burden of another so they might know Christ through our actions. As we move ever mindfully into Easter morning remind us that we are forgiven. Help us forgive those who because of your love deserve our forgiveness too. Have mercy on us O God, break into our lives and teach us to live in ways that are pleasing and acceptable to you. Amen.

Here are the last two paragraphs from my sermon yesterday. If you would like to read the rest of the sermon please contact me. “Holy Week, like the 40 days of Lent, forces us into deeper reflection about who we are as children of God, what we have done that has not been Christ like and where we might make changes. We don’t like to think for very long about Jesus on the cross. The longer we focus on him being on the cross the more we start to realize we likely would have been part of the crowd that put him there. We are part of the crowd who put him there; we might not know that we have shouted “crucify him” but because of our sinfulness as humans, we have and we continue to shout it even unconsciously. If I try to put myself into this story- I become torn, I want to be one of the ones waving the palm branch and shouting “Hosanna in the highest”. I want to be brave enough to pull my sword out when the guards come to arrest Jesus. I want to be better than Peter and not deny th...

Over the past 10 years of pastoral ministry I have had the privilege to sit behind several Communion Tables. To preside at the Lord’s Supper is, I think, one of the most extraordinary things a minister can lead for her congregation. In lifting and break the bread and lifting and pouring the cup, reminding all who are gathered what Christ did for each of them, a minister is given the opportunity to look out into the heart of the congregation. In those moments after the Elders have distributed the trays to the Diaconate (in my tradition we pass trays filled with pieces of bread and cups of juice) I have been given the special opportunity to look everyone participating in worship. Over the years I have seen couples holding hands, children kneeling on the floor coloring a page from worship totes, mothers and grandmothers holding new babies, and others siting like statues eyes closed deep in prayer…or maybe they are asleep. I don’t watch the congregation in a creepy “I’m watching you” k...

picture found through google image search How do you pray? This might seem like a silly question to some. It might be extremely difficult for others. It might be a question that has never or rarely entered your mind. So take a minute (or 2 or 3 or…) and think about it- How do you pray? Do you sit in the silence of the morning before everyone else in your family is awake or maybe the quiet of the evening when they have all gone to bed? Do you curl up with your Bible and your favorite praise CD or pick up your journal and head for a secluded place that no one knows but you? Do you stand at the sink praying something new with each dish that you wash or maybe with each step on the treadmill you utter your words to God? When I was little, early elementary age, I prayed by repeating after whichever person had the honor of teaching my unruly Sunday school class or by folding my hands when we were at the table waiting for my mom or dad to say ‘amen’ so we could eat. As I got ...

from churchart.com  Do you ever see someone doing something or hear someone say something and think “seriously…why. Why would you do that or say that…?” Do you ever wonder how some people have made it to where they are in life? Do you ever question how you have made it to where you are in life? Do you ever wish that you could change someone else’s attitude or thought process? Do you ever wonder how things would be if you had done one thing differently 5 or maybe 10 years ago? Just this morning I think almost all of these questions passed through my mind. What is that I hear from you, is that a resounding YES! Glad to know I am not alone. What are other things you wonder about? I wonder how my life would be different if I hadn't listened to the voices of those around me saying that I should explore the idea of vocational ministry. I wonder where I would be if I had, in my stubborn nature, continued on my way to become a band/choir director. I ...

picture from churchart.com  Saturday afternoon my boyfriend and I finally decided what to get his nieces, sister, and brother-in-law for Christmas. I headed to the store to find the items (I’m not sure if his sister reads my blog so I won’t tell you what we got the family-but it is a cool family gift that they all will enjoy) . Any way- I made it to the store, found the gifts and a few other items I didn't even realize I needed, and headed to the check out. As the cashier was ringing up my purchases, we made casual conversation. I asked him if because he was working the Saturday before Christmas he had Christmas Eve off. “Thank God” he said in a disdainful tone, “I am off Christmas Eve, but my mom is making me go to church with her.” then quickly he said “What about you? Do you have to work Christmas Eve?” I chuckled and excitedly said “I do have to work Christmas Eve!” I must have been one of the few people who didn't answer with snark in their voice th...

Picture from Churchart.com  While I was in seminary I drove past the same church every day on my way to and from campus. For a short time their front marquee read “If you want a better Pastor…PRAY for the one you have.” Every time I drove past that sign I thought “duh, shouldn't people already be doing that? What a concept.” As I silently watched flipping from CNN.com to my Facebook news feed the words of that church sign scrolled through my mind: “If you want a better Pastor…Pray for the one you have.”   As I read words like “great…we’re screwed!” or “I’m moving out of the country, I can’t believe this happened.” As well as things like “Take that Romney-better luck NOT next time.” or “4 more years to ‘shut the other guys’ up- GO OBAMA!” (These are all paraphrased as not to call anyone out) .  In a country that seemingly prides itself on being Christian, can you tell me where in those statements Christ can be found? If when you w...

Sometimes it is hard to be me. I don't say that because, I have a terrible life or because I wish I had more of what I already have. I say it because at the depths of who I am (mind,body,spirit) it is hard to be me- a contemplative person in a chaotic and havoc stricken world.  It is hard to be me in a world that is always on the verge of something-bigger, better, more productive than yesterday. It is hard to be who you are when who you are is a person who does not always want to be on the verge of something bigger and better but wants to appreciate the now before moving onto “the next”. Plain and simple, it is hard. Every once in a while I try to be different than who I think I am. I try to move onto the next big thing before I have fully appreciated what it is I was doing before. I try to not care about people and things that are happening in society (because it would seem that caring about these things SLOWS down the next big thing). I try to do things that I see o...