Braving The Waters

I am an internal processor. I am a contemplative person who needs time to think before I speak. Unless we’ve been friends for more than a year, you probably think I don’t talk very much. My silence often gets me in trouble because my silence is often interpreted that I don’t care. One group has decided that I don’t care and therefore stand, complicit, with the oppressive force. Others think my silence means I am complacent and don’t care enough to even make a comment. The problem however is that I do care, it just takes me too long to get my thoughts together and by the time I have them ready, it’s too late. But it’s not too late. It is never too late to stand up against something that is wrong. It is never to late to stand up for something you believe in. Over the past week I have done a lot of reading, a lot of observing, a lot of praying, and a lot of weeping. Reading, observing, praying, weeping… Communities of color don’t need my tears, They don’t need me to stand to the side and ...

I wrote this for the local paper...it isn't much and it is very "politically and religiously safe" because I don't think my little spot in the paper should be used for tearing the community a part. We all struggle in our own way with the state of the world. These are just a few of my thought on how we can maybe struggle together...without beating each other up about it. Pasrson to Person  “There is No Easy Answer or Solution?” Rev. Andrea Brownlee First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) The work of ministry is nothing short of finding the balance between absolutely crazy and astonishingly beautiful.   In the course of a week it is not unlikely for me to sit at someone’s beside in the hospital, spend time with children and youth discovering what it means to be a follower of Christ, visit with a couple preparing to start their life together, help someone figure out how to pay an overdue bill or find food to feed their family until next month’s check arrives....

September 19(posted on the 20 th ) Day Fifty 50/51 I realized this morning when I woke up that today is Sunday. This means that yesterday was Saturday and I forgot to write and post this blog. The days of the week all run together when they are not marked by a daily work routine. I have had a routine don't get me wrong (get up, some yoga stretches, breakfast with mom…etc). Which is good sabbatical, in my understanding, is supposed to get me out of my regular normal routine so when I return to it I am recharged and refueled and ready to run(both literally and figuratively).  I have done such a wonderful job at deviating from my “normal” routine that I rarely know what day of the week it is. That has been a blessing. I am however ready to begin transitioning, just a little bit, into a more normal daily routine. This will begin by returning to my normal time zone!! I will be doing a great deal of traveling this week so I ask for your prayers while I am on the highways and...

Tonight I am writing from a place I have called “home” for many years. Cedar Lakes Conference Center in Ripley WV. This is the place where I attended church camp and in later years counselled and directed those same camps. It is a Holy place for me even though it is not a “church” camp. This time I am here in a slightly different capacity. A daughter come home, not a wayward  wanderer  but a child of God who was given both roots and wings in the most sacred of ways in the most sacred of places. I am here in this place as the keynote speaker for the WV Disciples Women’s Spiritual Life Retreat. I am in awe, and I’m not sure why, at how the Spirit of God has been at work these past few days. I should back up, before arriving here Friday afternoon I spent a whirlwind weekend in Kansas City celebrating the marriage of dear friends, I stayed up way to late with one of my oldest, closest, bestest friend talking about life even though we already know everything about each other’s...

8 years ago(yesterday) I was Ordained into the Order of Christian Ministry in the West Virginia Region of Christian Church(Disciples of Christ). It was a day filled with bagpipes and preaching, singing and laughing, praying and crying, hugging and even some dancing! It was a blessed day in my opinion and one I will forever remember in my heart, mostly because there are very few pictures. I don’t need pictures to remember the words spoken out of love for me and for the Church. 11 years ago, in August/September, I began serving in congregational ministry while in seminary, in Lexington, Kentucky. Those were 3 of the greatest years of my life. I learned so much not only in the classroom but from the congregation and friends out at the pub(LTS had Pub Theology…before Pub Theology was a recognized thing). 17(or so) years ago I stepped forward during closing vespers at CYF Conference at Bethany College, in Bethany WV to affirm and confirm God's call in my life to serve the church ...

This picture is from the Maundy Thursday service last night but, I think it is fitting for today as well. Good Friday, a day of reflection, a day of sorrow, a day like no other. What does this day mean to you?

Meditation from Maundy Thursday service. The bread and cup, two symbols that mean a great deal especially to us as Disciples. The Lord’s Supper is a central part of who we are, each week when we gather we find ourselves celebrating this symbolic meal. I invite you to hear(read) our scripture for tonight found in the Gospel of Luke. Luke 22: 7-23 Perhaps the greatest symbols of Jesus sacrifice are right in front of us, at least on a weekly basis. We often take them for granted. They simply become just “part of what we do” and can begin to lose their meaning over time. Which is why Maundy Thursday is such an important service for us to celebrate. It is a chance to be reminded what the symbols of the bread and cup mean to us, individually and corporately. The Table - fellowship, friendship, nourishment, unity...what are other things you think of when you think of the table, communion or otherwise? Bread - work of so many hands. Those who prepare the ground and plant...

The turning point I often catch myself think “what if” when I reflect on major turning points in my life. What if I had chosen Hiram over Mount Union when I was deciding what college to go to? What if I had stayed home the summer of 2003 instead of working at Camp Cedar ?  What if I had gone to United Seminary instead of Lexington ? What if…what if… What if the disciples had gotten it the first time Jesus tried to tell them what was going to happen to him? What if God had decided there was another way when Jesus prayed in the garden? Perhaps you, like I, spend a good bit of time on the “what ifs” when we really don't need to. When we find ourselves at a turning point and we have weighed all the what if’s and might be’s and make the decision to go left, right, forward, backward, or stand still…that then becomes the known, not the what if. The turning point has past and we are now headed in a new and different direction than before. For me, Wednesday of Holy Week...

A prayer for the Tuesday of Holy Week Giving God as we get closer to the day Christ shared a last meal with his friends; remind us to be thankful for those we gather around the table with this week. Show us opportunities to invite new people to join us at the table Jesus prepared for all. Merciful God, as each step of this day takes us closer to Friday remind us of the steps Christ took with a heavy cross on his back. Give a chance to carry the burden of another so they might know Christ through our actions. As we move ever mindfully into Easter morning remind us that we are forgiven. Help us forgive those who because of your love deserve our forgiveness too. Have mercy on us O God, break into our lives and teach us to live in ways that are pleasing and acceptable to you. Amen.

Here are the last two paragraphs from my sermon yesterday. If you would like to read the rest of the sermon please contact me. “Holy Week, like the 40 days of Lent, forces us into deeper reflection about who we are as children of God, what we have done that has not been Christ like and where we might make changes. We don’t like to think for very long about Jesus on the cross. The longer we focus on him being on the cross the more we start to realize we likely would have been part of the crowd that put him there. We are part of the crowd who put him there; we might not know that we have shouted “crucify him” but because of our sinfulness as humans, we have and we continue to shout it even unconsciously. If I try to put myself into this story- I become torn, I want to be one of the ones waving the palm branch and shouting “Hosanna in the highest”. I want to be brave enough to pull my sword out when the guards come to arrest Jesus. I want to be better than Peter and not deny th...

God calls us to corporate worship but sometimes, like when the roads are covered in ice and snow it is better to stay home and be safe. You are invited to worship at home today with your family or on your own. A couple of items you can use if you’d like but are not required- a candle, a Bible, symbols of communion(whatever you have available-crackers and juice of some kind would be great- a slice of bread and water work well too-coffee and pastries, if you’re in a real pinch) Set your worship space, light the candle, turn in your Bible to Matthew 6:7-21 ******************************************************************************************************* Centering prayer O Holy One, be with present in this time of worship, safe in the confines of this home. Be with those traveling in conditions that raise anxiety. Hear the voices of your faithful this day. Amen. The scripture reading today comes from the Gospel of Matthew. Take a few minutes and read it aloud. Matth...

Some might say I am too young to know have experienced real heartache. Others might say I’m too sensitive and I need to toughen up. But those who know me best (you know who you are) might tell you that if you come into my life and you need love, I will passionately and enthusiastically give it to you. I love to the extreme and without measure and because of this often experience heartache. Obviously, different kinds of people receive different kinds of love from me but regardless of the kind of love you receive it will often be to the extremist of degrees. I don’t love the stranger who comes into my office needing gas money or groceries the same way that I love my family. I don’t love my family the same way I love my dog. You get the point. While I love fervidly and sometimes without much regard to my own well-being, my love is never lackadaisical or careless even if that sounds like a contradiction in terms. When another person’s heart or well-being are on the line, I try never ...

I don’t want to whine and complain. I don’t want to sound ungrateful for the rest I do get, because this statement of “I’m tired” is not really about my physical body being tired. While it is tired on occasion because I stay up too late and get up too early, this tiredness that I am feeling goes deeper, into the depths of my soul. So maybe I should say “my soul is tired” My soul tired of holding on. My soul is tired of constantly rearranging my life so that it works for others. My soul is tired of hearing that God has abandoned us. My soul is tired of seeing pain in the lives of those I love. My soul is tired of continually searching for a way to rest. Because I am aware that my soul is tired I am also aware that I am the only one who can find the rest I need for myself (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually). So While my soul is tired of holding on- I seek to find healthy ways to let go. And while my soul is tired of rearranging my life- I work toward...

Over the past 10 years of pastoral ministry I have had the privilege to sit behind several Communion Tables. To preside at the Lord’s Supper is, I think, one of the most extraordinary things a minister can lead for her congregation. In lifting and break the bread and lifting and pouring the cup, reminding all who are gathered what Christ did for each of them, a minister is given the opportunity to look out into the heart of the congregation. In those moments after the Elders have distributed the trays to the Diaconate (in my tradition we pass trays filled with pieces of bread and cups of juice) I have been given the special opportunity to look everyone participating in worship. Over the years I have seen couples holding hands, children kneeling on the floor coloring a page from worship totes, mothers and grandmothers holding new babies, and others siting like statues eyes closed deep in prayer…or maybe they are asleep. I don’t watch the congregation in a creepy “I’m watching you” k...

It has been some time since I read the poem The Invitationby Oriah Mountian Dreamer .  So I read it again this morning as I thought about a conversation I had last night. As I read it and reread it, the last few stanzas caught my attention. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. I have not always been able to stand in the fire and not shrink back. I have not always been able to put a name to what sustains me when everything else in my life fails. I have not always been comfortable enough in my own skin to be alone and enjoy my own company. However over time I have...

My heart hangs heavy now. I see people close to me hurting and there is nothing I can do to make it stop. Nothing I can say, nothing I can do will ever change the unspeakable events of yesterday(1/9/14).   This is not about me however; as I write you might think “she is making this about her”. That is not my intention at all because I know that there is nothing I can say and nothing I can do to ever make this day better for a family who is grieving the loss of a son, brother, nephew, cousin, and friend. I have been dating my boyfriend Justin for just over 3 years which means I have also known his family for just over 3 years. The first time I met the whole family was 4 th of July weekend 2011. He had told me about his cousins Wade and Clark. I thought I was prepared to meet them, I thought I was ready-smile on, hand extended, about to say hello- the first words out of his cousin Clark’s mouth “family doesn't shake hands family gotta hug”. Fast forward to Christmas...

Picture from Churchart.com  While I was in seminary I drove past the same church every day on my way to and from campus. For a short time their front marquee read “If you want a better Pastor…PRAY for the one you have.” Every time I drove past that sign I thought “duh, shouldn't people already be doing that? What a concept.” As I silently watched flipping from CNN.com to my Facebook news feed the words of that church sign scrolled through my mind: “If you want a better Pastor…Pray for the one you have.”   As I read words like “great…we’re screwed!” or “I’m moving out of the country, I can’t believe this happened.” As well as things like “Take that Romney-better luck NOT next time.” or “4 more years to ‘shut the other guys’ up- GO OBAMA!” (These are all paraphrased as not to call anyone out) .  In a country that seemingly prides itself on being Christian, can you tell me where in those statements Christ can be found? If when you w...

picture from churchart.com My prayer this week is not my own but is a song entitled “The Blessing” by Celtic Woman. I spent the day at a spiritual retreat center and this is the song that kept coming to my mind. I wanted to share it with you (whoever reads this blog) In the morning when you rise I bless the sun, I bless the skies I bless your lips, I bless your eyes My blessing goes with you In the night time when you sleep Oh, I bless you while a watch I keep As you lie in slumber deep My blessing goes with you   This is my prayer for you There for you, ever true Each every day for you In everything you do And when you come to me And hold me close to you I bless you And you bless me too When your weary heart is tired If the world would leave you uninspired When nothing more of love's desire My blessing goes with you   When the storms of life are strong When you're wounded, when you don't belong When...

O God, like the psalmist let me sing of your steadfast love.  Let my mouth proclaim your faithfulness and love through all generations (Psalm 89:1-2). pause for a moment of silence  As I work this week to live into the person you have called me to be, I pray for your guidance and grace. Even when I don’t deserve it God, you wrap your arms around me and envelop me with your love. pause to feel God's embrace I often neglect to say even a simple ‘thank you’.  SAY IT NOW, ALOUD-  THANK YOU GOD! I ask your mercy and forgiveness.  As I try this week to reflect your image to the world,  help me first to be mindful of what I have been blessed with so I might be a blessing to others.  When I struggle to show your love to others, show your understanding and grace by nudging me back to you. pause now to feel God nudging you today This is my prayer- hear my prayer. Amen. picture found on churchart.com  You are invited to use th...