Braving The Waters

 This past Thursday November 5th, was 10 years since I posted my very first blog here. I have been very sporadic in my writing. I have not gained a huge following and that is ok with me. I started this space as a space for me. A space to reflect, to share, to my own insight(often because it differs with where the congregation I am serving stands on some things). I do hope it is a space for those who follow and those who happen upon it, are able engage in some way. Even if that engagement is to say, "I don't agree".  As I continue on my journey of becoming a spiritual director, I hope this space will become one where people can spend time in their own reflection, meditation and prayer. I hope to offer more opportunity for anyone who reads this to engage in an active prayer life.  Here is a reflective vespers service I wrote for this year's Women's retreat for the Christian Church (DOC) in the Upper Midwest. This was a closing vespers service but could be used at an...

Today began like any other day.  My alarm clock sounded and I hit snooze, twice.  Out of bed, dog out, breakfast made, coffee perking. In the back of my mind I know today is different than I thought it would be 9 months ago.  Today I should be boarding an airplane bound for Atlanta. I am not boarding an air plane, I am not headed to Atlanta.  Today I should be officially beginning my in person classes for Spiritual Direction Certification.  I am not meeting in person rather I am obsessively checking the zoom time so I don't miss it because of the time difference.  Today began like any other day, but today is different.  In one way or another we have all gone through significant changes since 2020 began. In one way or another our lives are different now than we thought they would be 9 months ago. It's perfectly acceptable to lament if things that were supposed to happen didn't, or didn't happen how you imagined. It's perfectly acceptable to rejoice if g...

I am an internal processor. I am a contemplative person who needs time to think before I speak. Unless we’ve been friends for more than a year, you probably think I don’t talk very much. My silence often gets me in trouble because my silence is often interpreted that I don’t care. One group has decided that I don’t care and therefore stand, complicit, with the oppressive force. Others think my silence means I am complacent and don’t care enough to even make a comment. The problem however is that I do care, it just takes me too long to get my thoughts together and by the time I have them ready, it’s too late. But it’s not too late. It is never too late to stand up against something that is wrong. It is never to late to stand up for something you believe in. Over the past week I have done a lot of reading, a lot of observing, a lot of praying, and a lot of weeping. Reading, observing, praying, weeping… Communities of color don’t need my tears, They don’t need me to stand to the side and ...

 It is hard to believe that a decade has passed since I stood in front of a church filled with my family and friends and said the vows that brought me into the Order of Christian Ministry. Time flies even if all of it hasn’t been fun. The past 10 years have been a roller coaster . The past 10 years have been terrifying. The past 10 years have been exciting. The past 10 years have been exhausting. The past 10 years have been overwhelming. The past 10 years have been amazing. I thought on my 5 th anniversary I wrote a blog about the top 5 things from the first 5 years but I must have dreamed it or not posted it or somehow lost it on the inter-webs  (according to some people that can happen you know hahaha). So this year in honor of my 10 th anniversary I would like to share 10 of my favorite memories from the last 10 years. It’s a pretty generic list because there is no way to boil 10 years of ministry into 10 exact memories, so here they are. 10 memories. ...

Listen to this Playlist as you read!  Advent 4 Playlist Or you can search for your own version of the songs from this list: Angels, from the Realms of Glory, Away in a Manger, It Came upon the Midnight Clear, Hark! the Herald Angels Sing, O Little Town of Bethlehem, First Noel Call to Worship and Invocation One: Our souls proclaim your greatness, O God. All: And our spirits rejoice in you. One: We will praise you as long as we live. All: We will sing praises to you our whole lives long. One: We will not trust in the powerful of this world, All: But will trust in you–Creator of heaven and earth, One: the One who gives food to the hungry, All: the One who enacts justice for the oppressed. One: Our souls proclaim your greatness, O God All: As we worship you in this place. God of miracles, There is no miracle as grand as birth. As we prepare for the coming of your son, Jesus, create in us new life. Transform us so that we may reflect the light of your son, and become b...

The weekly devotion I have been using this Advent seasons ends with this blessing each week: May God bless us with mornings when we find (hope, peace, joy) in aligning our ideas with God's ideas. May God bless us with noon times when we find (hope, peace, joy) in aligning our work with God's work. May God bless us with evenings when we find (hope, peace, joy) in reflecting and giving thanks to God. You can find more information about this devotion here (thanks for this great resource!)   As I reread this week’s meditation again this morning I can't help but find tears in my eyes.  The scripture for this week’s meditation time came from Isaiah 35:1-10 . “The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad…”  As I read this same scripture again this morning my heart is aching for those who are in a dry land with no hope. War torn countries, broken families with no chance of reconciliation, nations devastated by famine and illness at epidemic levels, just to na...

I wrote this for the local paper...it isn't much and it is very "politically and religiously safe" because I don't think my little spot in the paper should be used for tearing the community a part. We all struggle in our own way with the state of the world. These are just a few of my thought on how we can maybe struggle together...without beating each other up about it. Pasrson to Person  “There is No Easy Answer or Solution?” Rev. Andrea Brownlee First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) The work of ministry is nothing short of finding the balance between absolutely crazy and astonishingly beautiful.   In the course of a week it is not unlikely for me to sit at someone’s beside in the hospital, spend time with children and youth discovering what it means to be a follower of Christ, visit with a couple preparing to start their life together, help someone figure out how to pay an overdue bill or find food to feed their family until next month’s check arrives....

Holy cow, it's been 5 years!  When I decided to begin writing a blog I wasn’t really sure what it would look like. I sent several possible “this is what/how I am going to do with this blog” to some friends to get their opinions. They all responded with “these all sound good, just pick one”.  I guess I never really picked one. For a while I tried to write every day but something always came up that didn’t allow me the time I needed to get it done. So then I tried once a week, that didn’t always work either. Over the past 5 years I have written very sporadically mostly when something significant happened in my life(important anniversaries, ridiculous or ironic conversations in grocery store lines, unexpected death or change) Never consistent and never what any of my original plans looked like. I decided to look at the stats. There are at least 15 people who read this blog every.single.time something is posted. That is awesome, thanks for coming back! As I looked at th...

The first week back was not a quiet week by all means but not the “all hell breaking loose” kind of week I had anticipated. It was as typical as any week can be in congregational ministry with the added bonus of a 300+ email inbox! I joked with several people on Sunday that I am going to go away more often because I was feeling all the love before, during, and after worship. It is truly wonderful to be back among the beautiful people of God I serve here in Oskaloosa.  Sunday I reached my hug quota times 1,000 I am sure. Monday and Tuesday launched me into deep “pastor mode” with hospital visits, staff meeting, and evening prayers with a few people. Wednesday I was quickly reminded of the amazing work our church does for and with children and youth (I also reached my hug quota without doubt) and was warmly welcomed back into the choir fold! Thursday brought meetings and sermon prep (Job 23, if you’re interested). Friday and Saturday brought both time for being with friends, fin...

My mom made this for me for my ordination June 30, 2007 Wow I can’t believe tomorrow I return to work!!  These 64 days away have brought much relaxation and renewal. They have given me the opportunity to reflect on the past 11 years of congregational ministry as well as time to discern what God has  in store  for the future. Did I do all the things I planned to do while on sabbatical? No, not really. Was I able to do some things I didn’t think were possible? Yes and I am thankful. I spent time with friends and family, which rejuvenated my soul. I spent time making new friends, who reminded me of the vastness of God’s table. I spent with God, not only in prayer but in the laughter of my nephew and niece, in hugs from friends I hadn’t seen in years, and even in the sweetness of tears as I headed West to return home last week. Of all the things I learned while on sabbatical, the most important is to make the time. Make the time for the people who are important t...

September 19(posted on the 20 th ) Day Fifty 50/51 I realized this morning when I woke up that today is Sunday. This means that yesterday was Saturday and I forgot to write and post this blog. The days of the week all run together when they are not marked by a daily work routine. I have had a routine don't get me wrong (get up, some yoga stretches, breakfast with mom…etc). Which is good sabbatical, in my understanding, is supposed to get me out of my regular normal routine so when I return to it I am recharged and refueled and ready to run(both literally and figuratively).  I have done such a wonderful job at deviating from my “normal” routine that I rarely know what day of the week it is. That has been a blessing. I am however ready to begin transitioning, just a little bit, into a more normal daily routine. This will begin by returning to my normal time zone!! I will be doing a great deal of traveling this week so I ask for your prayers while I am on the highways and...

Tonight I am writing from a place I have called “home” for many years. Cedar Lakes Conference Center in Ripley WV. This is the place where I attended church camp and in later years counselled and directed those same camps. It is a Holy place for me even though it is not a “church” camp. This time I am here in a slightly different capacity. A daughter come home, not a wayward  wanderer  but a child of God who was given both roots and wings in the most sacred of ways in the most sacred of places. I am here in this place as the keynote speaker for the WV Disciples Women’s Spiritual Life Retreat. I am in awe, and I’m not sure why, at how the Spirit of God has been at work these past few days. I should back up, before arriving here Friday afternoon I spent a whirlwind weekend in Kansas City celebrating the marriage of dear friends, I stayed up way to late with one of my oldest, closest, bestest friend talking about life even though we already know everything about each other’s...

Just over three weeks at the shore brought me many new friends and experiences, it enriched my soul, and most importantly reminded me of my call to ministry. It was however not good for the soles of my feet. Don’t tell my physical therapist but he was right flip flops, for people with bone spurs on their heels, are of the "devil". Pain in both heels is a small price to pay however to be reminded of God's greatness in a world that often seems less than great. In less than 5 minutes of reading the news of the day it is easy to become discouraged. It is easy to think no one, not even God "has it together".  I was reassured over and over however, that for every negative we might see or experience in the world around us there are more acts of kindness and humility  that we don't see. If we want to know that more good than bad is happening in the world we have to be part of making it happen. While without out doubt God "has it together" much more than ...

The weeks are running together because of the timing of when retreats start and end. I began my “3 weeks” on a Tuesday but my 6 day retreat began on a Thursday…When I posted last Saturday I was almost 2 days into my retreat. Now, as I sit here typing this reflection, I am 2 days out of my retreat back into to volunteering (believe or not I am washing dishes and cleaning bathrooms again). The 6 day retreat was a wonderful experience. It was time spent deepening my understanding and belief that all things are part of God’s creation.   We were silent, except for the hour we met in the morning after breakfast, during signing in morning mas, and the hour we met in the evening. You think being quiet and being silent are the same thing until you experience it for yourself. There were a great number of extremely loud silent people on retreat with me. While they weren’t talking, they were stomping through the hallways, shutting doors loudly…I am sure to other I was a very loud quiet ...

Thursday ended my first 10 days of volunteering at St. Mary. After a short trip to town to walk around the mall, a quick load of laundry and a new set of sheets I was ready for the evening supper bell to ring and for my retreat to begin. I posted on Facebook that I would be reflecting on my week of volunteering a friend and colleague wondered how theologically deep one could reflect on cleaning bathrooms and washing dishes…well Jim here we go! Just for clarity, dish washing has never been an enjoyable house hold chore for me.  Another point of clarity, I do my own dishes but I have one of those “fancy automatic washers”, as my grandma would have said so it isn't that terrible. I don't know if it is because I never worked in food service as a teenager, maybe it is some underlying desire to work in food services, I don’t know, it could possibly be a slight undiagnosed case of OCD. Whatever it is, industrial dishwashers have recently started to intrigue me. Their sheer si...