Today I celebrate my 13th Anniversary of Ordained ministry!
There are days (a lot recently with COVID 19 pandemic protocols in place) that I feel like I am new to this whole ministry gig. Then there are days when I feel like I have it mostly figured out and things are moving in the right direction. It's probably, most years, a 60/40 split of feeling in control or spiraling out. The 60/40 split flip flops almost daily sometimes hourly.
Ministry is hard and challenging and life giving and beautiful. It is sorrowful and celebratory. Up, down, praise, lament, struggle, success, regret, and celebration, sounds like the Book of Psalms. So on this 13th Anniversary of my Ordination I thought I'd share a Psalm.
O Holy One, No one told me!
No one told me that I'd have to be creative but also traditional,
That I'd have to think both inside and outside the box at the same time.
O Holy One, for those times that line between people loving the minister and people turning on her is so thin that it can't be seen it until it has been crossed, I lift a prayer for wisdom and guidance.
For those times when reconciliation can be found and ministry begins to flourish, I lift a prayer of thanksgiving.
For those times of waiting, for those times when as a pastor I've ignored You because I thought my idea was better, I lift a prayer of repentance.
And Holy One for those times when I've listened and things still didn't go quite right, I lift a prayer for strength to try again.
In the easy parts of ministry, when things are falling into place, remind me that I am called by something greater than myself to live and serve in this way.
In the hard parts of ministry, when things are falling apart, remind me once more that I am called by something greater than myself to live and serve in this way.
O Holy One, it's not true that no one told me. You told me, it wouldn't always be easy. You told me there would be times I'd want to quit. You told me what ministry would be like from the very beginning.
You told me Holy One that it would be beautiful and messy, sorrowful and joyful, but above all Holy One through the good of the bad You told me You would be with me, and You have not let me down.
For Your promise to me O Holy One, I will sing praise and thanksgiving now and forever.
Amen.
The real work of ministry is finding the balance in the 60/40 split. You learn how to balance the good with the bad. You learn to find hope in the darkness when conflicts arise. You learn when to push your creativity and when to let tradition stand. You learn so much more in the first year of ministry than any seminary class can teach you. And I can say, at least for me, you learn just as much each year that follows.
I finally have the 10+ years of experience that the first church I served wished I'd already had. But I'm grateful that they gave me a chance to spread my wings and develop new skills.
I finally see after serving in 5 very different congregations that each one has prepared me for the next. I give thanks every day for the different personalities each of the congregation I've served.
I finally understand that no matter where I am called to go in life and ministry, God has been there, God is currently there, and God will be there long after I'm gone.
I finally recognize within myself that the 60/40 split in ministry isn't about what's happening within the life of the congregation. But rather it is that constant reminder that something greater than myself has called me to this way of life and no matter what God's told me that I'm right where I'm supposed to be.
Thank you to everyone who has journeyed with me whether you've been on this road with me since I was a kid causing trouble at VBS or you're more recent to this road trip. I'm glad you're here and I give thanks for you today and always.
Peace,
(Pastor) Andrea (not all of you use my title because even though I am a pastor I'm not yours and that's ok).
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