My heart hangs heavy now. I see people close to me hurting and there is nothing I can do to make
it stop.
Nothing I can say, nothing
I can do will ever change the unspeakable events of yesterday(1/9/14).
This is not about me however;
as I write you might think “she is making this about her”. That is not my
intention at all because I know that there is nothing I can say and nothing I
can do to ever make this day better for a family who is grieving the loss of a
son, brother, nephew, cousin, and friend.
I have been dating my
boyfriend Justin for just over 3 years which means I have also known his family
for just over 3 years. The first time I met the whole family was 4th
of July weekend 2011. He had told me about his cousins Wade and Clark. I
thought I was prepared to meet them, I thought I was ready-smile on, hand
extended, about to say hello- the first words out of his cousin Clark’s mouth “family
doesn't shake hands family gotta hug”.
Fast forward to
Christmas 2013, Clark and I were sitting beside each other on the couch. We
chatted about life. We talked for 30 minutes like no one else was in the room.
He had an encouraging perspective on life, a passionate desire to love his
family without measure, and a personality that could not be matched by any
other. I don’t remember with any great detail anything about our conversation
except for this, as we ended our conversation and “joined” the rest of the room,
not looking at each other we both sighed a deep sigh, I started to say “this is
a great family to be part of…” and he said first “Damn, isn't it great to
part of this family.”
As I read the text
message from Justin yesterday morning and heard the words from his mother when I
called her in disbelief “Clark was killed in a
car crash this morning”. His words flew through my mind.
When I walked through the door of Justin’s sister’s house yesterday afternoon and I sat on the couch, where that conversation happened not even a month ago, with his family, people I also consider my family, in the midst of the tears and hugs, buzzing cell phones and barking dogs; in the midst of broken hearts and shattered dreams I heard his words “Damn, isn't it great to be part of this family.”
When I walked through the door of Justin’s sister’s house yesterday afternoon and I sat on the couch, where that conversation happened not even a month ago, with his family, people I also consider my family, in the midst of the tears and hugs, buzzing cell phones and barking dogs; in the midst of broken hearts and shattered dreams I heard his words “Damn, isn't it great to be part of this family.”
Yes-Clark-
even in the depths of the unknown and one of the darkest moments of their
lives, they will lift each other up, keep each other going. Even when emotions
run wild and feelings are raw your words will ring in my head. “Damn, isn't it great to be part of this family.”
My heart hangs heavy now. I see people close to me hurting and there is nothing I can do to make it stop.
Nothing I can say, nothing I can do will ever change the unspeakable events of this tragic day.
The person that wrote this and shared it whether is was their word to word or something mixed; THANK YOU. It is heart warming and I feel I knew Clark...I knew his mother in college and she was an amazing person....I may have to borrow his words "Damn, isn't great to be part of this family." to inspire some people close as they are going through very similar situations. All I can say is that I did not have the privilege to know this fine young man but I feel I will never forget him. He is going to make memories and those that knew him and loved him will experience and carry on something wonderful because he was a part of their life.
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