Skip to main content

What a Great Family

My heart hangs heavy now. I see people close to me hurting and there is nothing I can do to make it stop.

Nothing I can say, nothing I can do will ever change the unspeakable events of yesterday(1/9/14).  

This is not about me however; as I write you might think “she is making this about her”. That is not my intention at all because I know that there is nothing I can say and nothing I can do to ever make this day better for a family who is grieving the loss of a son, brother, nephew, cousin, and friend.

I have been dating my boyfriend Justin for just over 3 years which means I have also known his family for just over 3 years. The first time I met the whole family was 4th of July weekend 2011. He had told me about his cousins Wade and Clark. I thought I was prepared to meet them, I thought I was ready-smile on, hand extended, about to say hello- the first words out of his cousin Clark’s mouth “family doesn't shake hands family gotta hug”.

Fast forward to Christmas 2013, Clark and I were sitting beside each other on the couch. We chatted about life. We talked for 30 minutes like no one else was in the room. He had an encouraging perspective on life, a passionate desire to love his family without measure, and a personality that could not be matched by any other. I don’t remember with any great detail anything about our conversation except for this, as we ended our conversation and “joined” the rest of the room, not looking at each other we both sighed a deep sigh, I started to say “this is a great family to be part of…” and he said first “Damn, isn't it great to part of this family.”

As I read the text message from Justin yesterday morning and heard the words from his mother when I called her in disbelief “Clark was killed in a car crash this morning”. His words flew through my mind.

When I walked through the door of Justin’s sister’s house yesterday afternoon and I sat on the couch, where that conversation happened not even a month ago, with his family, people I also consider my family, in the midst of the tears and hugs, buzzing cell phones and barking dogs; in the midst of broken hearts and shattered dreams I heard his words “Damn, isn't it great to be part of this family.”

Yes-Clark- even in the depths of the unknown and one of the darkest moments of their lives, they will lift each other up, keep each other going. Even when emotions run wild and feelings are raw your words will ring in my head. “Damn, isn't it great to be part of this family.”

My heart hangs heavy now. I see people close to me hurting and there is nothing I can do to make it stop.

Nothing I can say, nothing I can do will ever change the unspeakable events of this tragic day.  


Labels:

Comments

  1. Binky SmithJanuary 12, 2014 at 2:54 AM

    The person that wrote this and shared it whether is was their word to word or something mixed; THANK YOU. It is heart warming and I feel I knew Clark...I knew his mother in college and she was an amazing person....I may have to borrow his words "Damn, isn't great to be part of this family." to inspire some people close as they are going through very similar situations. All I can say is that I did not have the privilege to know this fine young man but I feel I will never forget him. He is going to make memories and those that knew him and loved him will experience and carry on something wonderful because he was a part of their life.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Changing of the Seasons

"I don't like this cold..." SERIOUSLY not even two weeks ago some of the same people who are saying this were more recently saying "I can't stand this heat, I wish it was cooler." You got your wish, quit complaining!  Why is it we are never happy in the moment? It is too hot, too cold, too boring, too silly, too dry, too wet, too overwhelming, not overwhelming enough...the list continues. As I sit in my office this afternoon, reflecting on the past few week's events (funerals, Sunday school starting, children and youth activities starting, countless meetings, and moments(very few moments) of silence) I hear in the back of my mind a voice not my own reciting the beginning of Ecclesiastes 3     1  For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:  2  a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;  3  a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break do...
2 comments
Read more

Words from the Board...Bulletin Board that is

I have a bulletin board hanging on my office wall; it has various things thumb tacked to it. At some point each of the things hanging there were important to me. I suppose since they are still hanging there even after making a 740 mile move cross country, they are still important. The things hanging on this board vary in shape, size, meaning, and appearance. A Chalice sun catcher, a map of the church, several cards from family and friends, a picture of my paternal grandparents in front of the "Arc de Triumph" during WWII, my father’s obituary, the preaching schedule, and a couple crosses…just to name a few. When I am sitting at my desk, this bulletin board is on my left; every time I glance at it the same thing catches my eye. I am always drawn to the same card. I believe I received this card at my Ordination and if memory serves I received three or four of this same card that day. The card reads; “Be who you are. Do what you love. Make a difference. Change the world.” ...
2 comments
Read more

10 Years, One Decade, No matter how you say it...Thank you!

 It is hard to believe that a decade has passed since I stood in front of a church filled with my family and friends and said the vows that brought me into the Order of Christian Ministry. Time flies even if all of it hasn’t been fun. The past 10 years have been a roller coaster . The past 10 years have been terrifying. The past 10 years have been exciting. The past 10 years have been exhausting. The past 10 years have been overwhelming. The past 10 years have been amazing. I thought on my 5 th anniversary I wrote a blog about the top 5 things from the first 5 years but I must have dreamed it or not posted it or somehow lost it on the inter-webs  (according to some people that can happen you know hahaha). So this year in honor of my 10 th anniversary I would like to share 10 of my favorite memories from the last 10 years. It’s a pretty generic list because there is no way to boil 10 years of ministry into 10 exact memories, so here they are. 10 memories. ...
1 comment
Read more