I Want to Stop Running Kenneth G. Phifer
Eternal God, you are a song amid silence,
a voice out of quietness,
a light our of darkness,
a Presence in the emptiness,
a coming out of the void.
You are all of these things and more.
You are mystery that encompasses meaning,
meaning that penetrated mystery.
You are God,
I am [human].
I strut and brag.
I put down my fellows
and bluster out assertions of my achievements.
And then something happens:
I wonder who I am,
and if I matter.
Night falls,
I am alone in the dark and afraid.
Someone dies,
I feel so powerless.
A child is born,
I am touched by the miracle of new life.
At such moments I pause…
to listen for a song amid the silence,
a voice out of stillness,
to look for light out of darkness.
I want to feel a Presence in the emptiness.
I find myself reaching for a hand.
Oftentimes, the feeling passes quickly,
and I am on the run again:
success to achieve,
money to make.
O Lord, you have to catch me on the run
most of the time.
I am too busy to stop,
too important to pause for contemplation.
I hold us too big a section of the sky
to sit down and meditate.
But even on the run,
an occasional flicker of doubt assails me,
And I suspect I may not be as important
to the world
as I think I am.
Jesus said each of us is important to you.
It is as if every hair on our heads were numbered.
How can that be?
But in the hope that it is so,
I would stop running,
stop shouting,
and be myself.
Let me be still now.
Let me be calm.
Let me rest upon the faith that you are, God,
and I need not be afraid. Amen.
It is the time of year when we run, run, run! Everything needs to be perfect and we are CLEARLY the only one who knows what that means. We forget, even at this time of year when we want our focus to be on Christ’s birth that we are not in control of the big picture. We can have all the “To do” list we want and be successful at checking everything off of them, we still have no control. The living Spirit of God is in control, yes even in this holiday season…ESPECIALLY in these Holy Days!
I pray now and always God restore your soul that you may give glory to the one who has created you and made you whole!
Take a moment this Christmas Eve- close your eyes, take a deep breath, and listen. Here the angels singing and the shepherds rejoicing reminding you Christ is here. Born again in our hearts this day! Celebrate, be merry, rejoice that God is in control…even if you have a “to do” list isn’t completely finished!
Be still, be calm, rest in the assurance that God is God and you need not be afraid!
Happy Christmas to you and yours,
Andrea J
Well said, sister. Love to you and yours at Christmas! - David
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